How to do Hard Things

Happy Thursday Everyone,

Today, I have to do a hard thing...

I have to go to the dentist's office to get my teeth cleaned.  😟 

I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, and I feel like I am a pretty brave person, willing to face hard things, but I greatly dislike going to the dentist's office.  

The last time I was there, tears were running down my face as my teeth were being cleaned because the scrapey-sharp thing hurt as it was gnashing into my soft gums.  (Yeah, you can imagine it right?)  

I think I build up lots of plaque, so the hygenist has to scrape pretty hard.  I am doubly worried today because due to appointments I had to cancel and COVID, I haven't been to the dentist in a couple of years.  I hate to think how much plaque is in there even though I brush regularly, floss, and use mouthwash.  

Ugh...I am just dreading it!  But I know it has to be done, I would like to keep my teeth, and it's good for my overall health as well.  (Taking care of all the parts of your body is important people!)

So how am I going to handle this?  If you looked at my question of the day today I asked how you all psych yourselves up to do hard things.  So maybe I'll get some ideas from you!  One thing that I know I need to do is have an honest conversation with my hygenist about how being in her chair feels.  I tend to not want to hurt her feelings, and also I tend to think that maybe teeth cleaning is just painful and I need to deal with it, but maybe not too!  Maybe there is something she can do to make it less painful, so if I can have an honest, respectful conversation with her, maybe there could be some improvement and therefore less anxiety for me around that office visit.  

Honestly, I feel really anxious about going, and it's been that way in the past as well.  I don't like feeling this anxiety because my anxiety makes me grouchy, and I'll admit that because I get grouchy, I feel that I have been a little short (not rude) to my hygenist in the past.  She doesn't deserve my curt behavior, instead, she needs my honesty so we can try to solve the problem together.  

So that is one way we can deal with doing had things.  We can be honest about our feelings with both the people that are supporting us and those who are involved in the problem.  If we can identify the feelings, and why we are having them, we can ponder logical solutions, that will help us approach and solve the problem at hand.    

Another hard thing that I have to do in my line of work (and because I am human and have human relationships) is to sometimes have hard conversations.  The anticipated conversations give me butterflies in my stomach, so the way I deal with them is to imagine myself having the conversation with the other individual.  I practice, out loud what I am going to say, and I imagine the different responses that the other person will have.  I practice for lots of different scenarios.  Not only does this help me get prepared for the message that needs to be conveyed, but the act of "having" the conversation makes me feel more calm and capable.  

A third way that I mentally prepare myself for hard things to remind myself that thinking about it - the anticipation - is always the hardest part.  I try to do hard things as quickly as possible, assuming I have control over that timeline.  This used to happen to me in high school when I was a basketball player.  I was always really nervous before games, almost to the point of being physically sick, but once I stepped on the court, I was totally fine and could get in the groove of playing and letting my ability take over.  So if you have the ability to do the hard thing right away, I would suggest this, so that the anticipation doesn't get the better of you.  If you don't have control of the timeline (for example you have a big game, but it's not until Saturday), talk yourself through it.  Remind yourself that you are well prepared and that you have the skills to be successful.  Remind yourself out loud that anticipation is the hardest part.  In the meantime practice a bit, do other enjoyable things, and maybe work on visualizing your success by talking to your coach or caregivers about your game plan or strategy. 

So what do you do when you have to get through something hard?  Maybe you could practice some of my strategies...be honest about your feelings and talk about them, practice and prepare, talk to yourself about anticipation vs. reality, and visualize your success!     

We never wish for hard things, but they are a reality in life.   Facing them helps us feel competence and confidence for the next round, and avoiding them just makes them harder and harder.  When we avoid, we don't get intrinsic feedback which reminds us that we are capable of success.  This internalized feedback is oh so important the next time you have to face something difficult!  So create a plan, and tackle those hard things!

Maybe I just need to approach my cleaning with a little bit of humor...

Until tomorrow Cougars - I'll let you know how my conversation goes with the hygenist!  😉  

Mrs. Hempey