With all Good Intentions...

Happy Thursday all!  

So I try to keep it pretty positive here on my school counseling blog, but there is such a thing as toxic positivity, so sometimes I do need to be careful.  I want to acknowledge today that it's okay to not be okay sometimes.  It's important as a peer, friend, or co-worker that we don't always say things like, "chin-up, I am sure it will be better tomorrow,"  when someone is really struggling and in need of support.  

More specifically, toxic positivity is when one, in trying to be helpful, says things that simply sugar coat the problem and don't acknowledge that sometimes things are just hard.  It is more clearly defined by Dr. Jaime Zuckerman, a clinical Psychologist, as "the assumption, either by one’s self or others, that despite a person’s emotional pain or difficult situation, they should only have a positive mindset." (Scully, July 2020)

Still confused...here is a visual...


So I bet you're are wondering...can I ever say these kinds of things?  Well of course, but it's just important that we don't overdo it, when someone really just needs to hear something like, "Wow, that must have been hard for you," or "how can I help," or "I am here to listen if you need a friend."  As helpers and emotionally intelligent people, we have to balance our positivity with our support and our ability to empathize and validate people's feelings.  

Because of this pandemic, we are all putting an emphasis on raising our emotional intelligence.  We all have to take care of ourselves and each other, acknowledge when things are hard, validate how a person might be feeling, and be willing to wade through the tough stuff when necessary.  

When all is said and done though, It's okay to have a positive frame of mind while doing all this validating.  That's why I like this cartoon...


Instead of worrying about the list, the bear just acknowledges that it didn't go well and moves forward.  One step at a time Cougars!  

Be well,

Mrs. Hempey

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month - Resources For You

Image
If you or someone you know is in an emergency, call  The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline  at 800-273-TALK (8255) or call 911 immediately. From the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) :     September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month—a time to share resources and  stories  in an effort to shed light on this highly taboo and stigmatized topic. We use this month to reach out to those affected by suicide, raise awareness, and connect individuals with suicidal ideation to treatment services. It is also important to ensure that individuals, friends, and families have access to the resources they need to discuss suicide prevention.  Here are your local resources for suicide prevention :   Who can you connect with at CBMS for help ?   Mrs. Hempey, School Counselor - 802-583-8071 or jhempey@huusd.org or just come to my office!   Mr. Estes, Vice Principal - joshestes@huusd.org Hillary, Dean of Students...
Read more

We Miss You!

Image
The Crossett Brook Staff wishes to cheer your spirits on this rainy Monday morning!  Enjoy these messages from all of us to you! Remember, we put out lots of information about supporting you through all of this, you know reminding you how to keep a positive frame of mind - look on the bright side - all of that, but it's okay to feel sad too...   Sadness is part of the human experience, so when it comes, let yourself experience it, and when it moves past, use a strategy to get your brave back on.   Be well today Cougars!   Mrs. Hempey
Read more

Lived Experience

Good Morning Everyone, Today I'd like to continue addressing social justice and antiracism from my blog. What is antiracism you ask? Well, let me explain what I have come to understand.  Antiracism is when we actively take a stance against racial injustice.  It is fighting for equality.  It is going beyond just thoughts and feelings and taking action.  That action can come in many forms.  It can be in the form of educating your self or others, peaceful protest, monetary support for organizations like Black Lives Matter or the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP), or it can be about simply lending your voice to someone in need.   Some people would argue that topics such as these are wading into the water of politics and taking sides and that we shouldn't be talking about them in school or with young kids.  My response is that I don't care what political side people are on.  This is a human rights issue!  It's...
Read more