Confusing Existence?

Happy Thursday Everyone!  

We've made it over the hump for the week, and after Friday, we have just one week until vacation, so let's continue to work together to get through this last "dark" part of the year.  I feel like once we return from the February break in March, the days are getting longer and warmer, and the promise of spring just around the corner lifts the spirits!  Until then you can keep reading my blog for a daily dose of feel good! 

Today I wanted to talk about this idea...

I both like and dislike this sentiment.  I wish that the word "faults" had not been used.  I wish the quote said, "when you appreciate your...challenges or differences, or the things that make you feel different...they lose their power over you."  

I mean what is a fault exactly?  

If a fault is that you are negative, or shy, or too exuberant - you can choose to do something about these things if you wish, but they are not "faults" that you are stuck with or even faults, to begin with.  The world needs all kinds of people, right?!

  

If you view a big nose, for example, as a fault, well that's just silly!  I would categorize a big nose as "something that makes you feel different or unique," not a fault!  It's the nose you were given and if you can appreciate it, it doesn't hold any power over you, right? 

I wanted to discuss this topic because middle school - and well frankly life - can feel confusing because sometimes we feel like we have to hide things about ourselves.  Maybe we feel like we'll be misunderstood, or not accepted, or made fun of, or treated differently.  But it's super important to remember that if someone judges you or treats you differently because of something you have or something you are, then that's on them and not on you.  The problem lies with the person that feels they need to judge you, not with the person who is brave enough to be their authentic self!   

There is a fine line between being an oversharer - telling everyone you meet the in's and out's of your life story - and not being confident enough in your own skin to let people who love and care about you truly understand you.  Let's be clear here.  What you choose to share of yourself with the people around you is completely up to you.  You don't have to share what you don't want to, but I hope that as you grow, you can appreciate the things that make you different, instead of being afraid of them. 

Here are a couple of the things that made me feel small when I was younger...

I was diagnosed with learning differences when I was in the second grade.  I struggled with math, spelling, memorization.  I spent many hours, both in school and out, working with learning specialists.  They helped me learn tips and tricks to make learning easier.  They taught me how my brain worked so that I could get the most out of it.  Now I find my way around the academic struggles that I have, and I  use my brain full of knowledge to engage with the world in really meaningful ways.  I have no negative feelings about my learning differences.  If anything they brought me fulfillment because I learned about triumphing over hard work, persevering in the face of challenge, and finding the determination to succeed.  

I was also a very nervous child.  Today we'd probably call it anxiety.  I was afraid of getting lost, losing my parents, riding in elevators or subways, and I worried about my house catching on fire.  I don't remember my parents ever getting cross with me about these worries.  They always just reassured me, and eventually, I grew out of them.  I even consider myself a very laid back person these days.  Not much ruffles my feathers!  I think being anxious as a kid gave me lots of opportunities to tune in to the world around me and make decisions about the kind of person I wanted to be.  My fears shaped my intuition and my compassion for others.  Also, remember that it's okay to not be okay at times, and being ashamed of our mental state only every makes it harder to confront.  So talk to someone if you are feeling anxious, depressed, or otherwise unwell!   

I try to encourage kids (my own and my extended family too) to embrace who they are as well!  I have a daughter who is Deaf,  and when she was really little, we used to decorate her Cochlear Implants so that they really stood out.  We always wanted her to feel proud to be Deaf and to never hide that side of herself.  Now she has so much hair, it's hard to see the implants, but we always make a point to have conversations with those around us about hearing loss and implants when it comes up in social settings.  We know the sky is the limit for her regardless of her hearing.  Being Deaf holds no negative space for her because she is proud to be uniquely made.    

I hope that you take some time today to look inside of yourself and think about those things which may currently be holding negative space inside your heart.  What pieces of yourself do you need to learn to love, appreciate, or accept in order for them to no longer have power over you.  Remember that this is not an easy or quick process, sometimes it takes years and lots of maturing before it happens.   My hope is that if you start hearing it now - while you are in middle school - you'll come to understand it, know it, and believe it sooner rather than later.    

Speaking of knowing your worth... let's spotlight Kamala Harris for Black History Month today!  We now know her as Madam Vice President, but she was once just a girl of Indian and African American descent whose single mother told her to never accept no for an answer.  In fact, I have heard her in an interview say that "she eats NO for breakfast."  You know, sometimes those things we feel insecure about aren't hidden - they are plain as day - like for Kamala Harris, being a female in a very male-dominated field.  I bet that in the areas of law, politics, and government, she has heard a lot of no's in her past.  As you can see now, she refused to accept those no's and has risen to the highest ranks, taking with her all the hopes and aspirations of little girls, minorities, and people of color along too!  

I hope that, from this post, you take away the very important understanding that you and you alone get to determine your worth.  If someone else tries to define that for you, you just eat it up for breakfast!  

Have a great day Cougars!

Mrs. Hempey  

P.S. - This was a long blog post...some are shorter and more to the point, but I thank you for sticking with me for the long ones.  Sometimes I feel like this when I am writing...