The Party

Happy Wednesday Everyone,

I am currently working my way through the Stranger Things Series, which because of its suspenseful nature is not something I probably would have watched normally, but I decided to give it a try.  I am sure many of you have watched it, but it is not for everyone, so choose wisely, and check in with your parents if you are younger and considering watching.  

Anyway, the reason that I bring it up here is that underneath the suspense and the shadowy monster themes there are strong themes of friendship, loyalty, determination, and grit that weave through the entire series.  If you ask me, it's probably what has made it so extremely popular.  

Well, maybe that and the killer '80s soundtrack!  I mean these are songs I grew up with...so yeah, the music is a good reason to watch!  :)

So why do themes of friendship and determination make people so invested?  Well, friendship and love are some of those basic needs that we all want or need in some way.  Again, if you've read my earlier blogs you'll remember that there is a hierarchy of needs for all humans...

Right in the middle are safety, security, relationships, and friends.  Could we survive without friends, sure, but life would certainly not be as fulfilling.  Like we see in Stranger Things, The Party of friends and their adult supporters provide a measure of safety and security.  They also provide emotional support, lending each other courage as needed.  The friendships also provide a reason to have grit and determination.  When your friends need you, you're usually willing to come up big for them right?  

The funny thing about friendships is that they can be complicated!  It's hard to find the right ones - people that like you for you, encourage you to be your best self, that support you no matter what, stand by you even when things are rough, and who will remind you to stay safe when your judgment is compromised.  It is challenging to manage friendships because you are always changing and growing, and so are your peers.  Friendship takes work because all those things that you want your friends to do for you are things that you, conversely, need to do for them, so it takes a lot of hard work on everyone's part.    

Unfortunately, it is much easier to lose the trust of a friend than it is to gain it, so it's important that you act like a friend when you go out into the world.  How do you act like a friend?   The elements are pretty simple...

• Smile at people.
• Say please and thank you.
• Offer genuine compliments.
• Spend time sharing common interests (either performing them or talking about them).
• Show interest in others by asking them questions (but not ones that are too personal before you have developed a strong bond).
• Say you're sorry when it is needed, and mean it.
• Show concern for others' feelings and personal preferences.  
• Be honest - tell the truth when it is needed.
• Be genuine - don't try to be someone you are not.
• Look people in the eyes (the right amount, not too little, not too much).
• Filter your thoughts - you are not always going to agree with your peers, but if it isn't dangerous and it doesn't affect you, keep that thought to yourself unless your opinion is sincerely asked for).

When you do these things, you make yourself very attractive.  I don't mean physically attractive, (although a smile looks great on everyone!), I mean emotionally and socially attractive.  When you do these things, people will naturally be drawn to you and you'll have more success making and keeping friends.  

FYI, one tricky thing about doing these things is that sometimes you have to make a decision in the blink of an eye to perform them.  They take practice, so go easy on yourself if you don't always get it right, 'cause failing is part of learning.  You are young and you are supposed to be practicing these skills now as tweens and teens so that by the time you are older, you have developed good, strong friendship-making skills that will serve you well in life.  

Have a great day Friends!

Mrs. Hempey